16 nov

My problem isn't the obstacles i'm facing. I understand both where they're come from, and wat to do about them. The proble is certain individuals who i would have expected to lend me a hand haven't done so. While ordinarily, i have said nothing, ask them why. Their response will suprise me.

green cloth girl

I'm thinking of the green cloth girl. Here the story, i was sitting around roxy, friend apple shopping, she brought yellow spegeti.. Look nice on her. Anyway, i spend almost half day inside there, not shop for me, but for her, don't complain because i really don't want to shop another shirt or flipflop. Not on my list now, even i desire for it.

this green girl come in to buy roxy beg, just a normal average looking girl. Well that all i can say. Just inside my mind. Can't get it out. Tall, not so skinny, like to play wit her hair, good friend. I suggest i'm bored inside roxy till i watch every1 inside there.

In this world, there many types of people, from the people we know, to people that we see from our eye on street, to people that we hear from our ear on news, to people that we feel from our imagination of any type of people. All type of people exist for something, surviving to live, contribute to the surrounding or more selfish, just profit for them self.

for me, i like to watch people, in my whole life, i watch lots of people. I observe how there move, how there wear their cloth, how pretty are there, how happy, how worrying, i watch everything, expect 2 thing that is impossible to tell, their mind and their heart. Their mind could tell them stop watch me, your stackler. Their heart, which how feel at that time to the places or people. From begger that asking money for living, to bully that bully poorless puppy, to spender that spend money worryless, to clubber that flirt lady on the floor, to photographer that capture glimpse of people life, to blogger that write story of a live. All these people always caught my eye.

even watching people is my obsession, i rarely look at myself, even in the mirror, my picture about myself is a sad dude that barely have a smile, that just had a broken heart. The only time i watch myself is when i set my hair, put med on my pimple. Even wit that, i never look to my own eye, my own smile. I waiting the moment that i can look myself, when i'm happy, when i get my love of my live. Till now. My own thought as i wondering around 1borneo wit a fruit call apple.

fragile life

Life is very fragile, going around, we will always see some1 is worst than us or better. We should not compare against each other but compliment each other how perfect we live in this world. A smile will brighten our soul, a greeting will cherr our heart.

now, i really need those, i was watching 2012, why a great movie must have a love involve, wit transformer on megan, 2012 wit broken family but finally unite. I'm not against those, but my heart just unbearable to fill those, i miss some1. Is almost 1 year. And i still haven't improve.

wish list

add a wish list in my blog... set my target... will change when reach this year end...

some1 special day

Today, is some1 special day. Wish her happy special day. Hope your dream and wishes come true, dear.

Grad!!

27 October is the date that i'm convo... part of me are happy and sad... hehehe..thanks for everything to my parent and all my friend.. yeah.. the sad part is not according to the planning.. well.. get the best out of it

time slow down

So this is what you do when it all slows down and the minutes that tick by del a little longer that before. You take your time. You breathe slowly. You open your eyes a little wider and look at everything. Take it all in. Rehash stories of old, remember people, times and occasions gone by. Allow everything you see to remind you of something. Talk about those things. Stop and take your time to notice things and make those things you notice matter. Find out the answers you didn't know to yesterday puzzle. SLOW DOWN. stop trying to do everything now, now, now. Hold up the people behind you for all you care, feel them kickling at your heels but maintain your pace. Don't let anybody dictate your speed.

21 octo

Being a sociable creature, i'm constantly discussing various new ideas and options. But having just struggled wit serious decisions, i did my best focus mine conversations on more trivial matters. At least until those plans are finally settled. Once they are, you can return to your usual topic without fear i will be distracted.

20 octo

As i'm well aware, decision-making can be an agonising experience for me. So once i'm finally got things organised, i stick wit plans. That's understandable. Still, during this unsettled but highly creative cycle, i'm better off regarding all arrangement as loose. This way, i can change them, and change them again, if necessary.

Oh. Today i'm so embarrass because i forget my ex school mate, oh damn. I was chill out at upperstar, they want to close to restaurant already. So this guy coming up to say sorry, in my mind ok, we meet to go, he about to halau us away. Then he say, do you remember me? Gosh. I have no idea.

he is desmond, my classmate that use to sit beside me. How can i forget. Huh. I feel so guilty. Oh well, i just i need to find out his contact soon.

tanjung aru

Right now i'm at tanjung aru. 1st time coming here. Hehe. Miss my old layangan beach and the water.

Hello every1. My life getting more meaningfull each day. I have more path to go. More thing to do. But i still looking my pass. Nothing are the exactly like last time. I still dream of same thing.

last friday is my b'day, nope, i don't celebrate it. Just spend on big apple donut to my office staff. That all. Well. Some1 forget my b'day. Wat can i say, angry or sad. Just glad my special day passes.

Much as i dislike clashes wit other, i have to admit that there are 1 or 2 impossible individuals who are oblivious to anything but a direct confrontation. However, they've adopted a new and underhand tactic. This means that when dealing wit them, i will need to be twice as canny as before.

uneasy

Tonight. I was wondering where am i heading. I didn't feel lost, where i'm stand, my bearing. I always knew. But knowing everything doesn't make everything enjoyable. There should be an anticipation of knowing the unknown.

i sometimes asking do i have my own personality, my own look, my own principal. The moment my life change, i didn't care so much about it. I just live the life as it is, as it flow, i just follow it. But recent event, make me think twice. Sometimes, i just not me. I don't know how to explain it. I need to learn as fast as possible about how to survive, how to connect. Well. I guess i'm failing.

i'm really week. Throughout my life, i got people that help get up. But as time move on, nothing stay. Perhaps, this is i'm looking for. Help. I know there were some1 that willing to help me if i'm ask. But that just temporary.

i really hate if i got the feeling that is not alright. Things will go wrong soon enough if i'm don't take action. Come on syl, have courage.

this blog is my only way it express my feeling. There nobody that i can talk to. Only to myself. Ok. Good night guys