My sister b'day today

I wake up this morning morning wondering wat should i buy for her..she not my sister actually, but she been nice to me..i wondering to buy her girls thing like dress or bag..

me and my friend go to mall to find gift for her, i plan to buy purse for her but somehow i buy clock and frame for her..

this story not about her...is about my dream..my dream today is i really wish i can talk to dyla..since last time, we never had a nice conversation..when i searching my gift for zura(my sis), i found something nice to gift to dyla, a candle red in colour wit a heart on it, it took me for a while think about shuold i buy it, i know myself will probility never gift to her. i always follow my heart saying i should buy it, so i buy it.

at night before 12 o'clock, my heart pounding want to meet dyla, because i know, meeting her will only make my feeling worst but i still want to meet her. this problem about me, if i like some1, no matter what the situation, i still will keep on goin on, this because talk to her, see her face, my feeling is mix, i'm so happy, and yet i know inside me is so sad because i only dream talking to her, look her for afar..may be that happy is wat i looking for, just a moment of joy, i think i worth it, somehow, after the end of the day, my feeling worst. i feel the most lonely guy in the whole world.

well..zura just got a bf, my best friend hilmi. hahaha..i wish they know i much i need their help to ask dyla give me a chance. while i'm wait to be sharp at 12 o'clock, i left alone, that time i watching them, i feel so horible. may be this will be my life, watching people together.

time started. is zura b'day now...the only thing i can do is smile, because dyle were there, i feel so sad..but happy to see her. still remember the give that i plan to give her. i didnt give to her. i left on the boxes with the cake, then i feel i shouldnt give her, i let the candle on the boxes. hopefully people will know i give to her. a sign that i really want her....sad....

My Life

hi any1..

i start this blog because i hate my life now...i really hate it now..all the time feel so lonely..so 1 around for me...dude..i really miss my ex gf..she dump me because she dont love me, this happen at last year December..i still can remember every moment...i truly sad..now i'm lonely and seriously need her..

time passes..i found some1 but she heart belongs to other, she were my best friend, now i'm losing her because i tell her that i fall for her..again..my heart is beyond repair..i dont know what should i do...i really wish things happen nicely, sadly none happen to me..

valentine

today is valentine day, is a day of love. this will be my worst day of my life, yesterday i give cayra a flower, i know is useless to spend like 60 on a flower to the person that will not love u. but my heart always tell me to do it. i feel terrible. i just hope i can achieve something..i just hope.. my heart i still love her. i really wish she love me back. hope a flower can change her feeling...it seem is aint going to happen...well..yesterday is worst day..today even worst..

yesterday i also send flower to dyla, i dont know why i send her flower. but i know i need to send. she ask me is it for a friend. i say yes..but i know in my mind and heart, is more than a friend. i'm sorry that i need to lie to her. but the truth is much better to not know by her.

well...wat i gonna do today..i spend my day hoping day pass quickly..thinking every year, i spend my day the same way right not..alone..well valentine day, world found the true love and get together. i found my true love but love leave me in pain..my life suck and i still love cayra...

First day at shah alam

when i reach kl, my heart feel pounding, my mind think i'm will be like dead fish. with losing of something important in my life, i really dont know wat to do.

when i reach kl central meet ash parent, they were so kind to pick me up, i really glad that im not alone, along to way to my house, i keep thinking about cayra, i feel myself so sad, sad till feel this is the end of the world, but wat can i do, i just need to keep moving. once i reach to my new home, the enviroment is so different, may be because i really dont care the enviroment, they no one that i can share wit. well..i feel so lonely, my mind is how do i go through the night.

at night before i sleep, i cant close my eye, i tear cant stop running, i feel so sad.....cayra, if u there, please dont change, please.....