first thing to do

Somehow.. I feel really hopeless.. Knowing what happen next.. Know that the world always against you..

I dream of having a good life.. Yeah.. Things not always going what we think of.. Day by day.. I feel i float too far.. There is no more hope.. Dream always be a dream.. I can only tell in this blog.. I can tell more detail.. But it is use to be the same thing.. You all what it is..

i hate to admit i didn't move on.. Only try to avoid.. I can't do it.. Because i still unable to let go.. I still feel the love.. There lots of thing is this world yet i choose the same thing that will always broken my heart..

come on syl.. I know myself will never stop thinking about till new hope and dream arrives.. I looking everywhere.. Just sometimes.. Is not that simple.. Is not like going to mall and buy it.. I here all alone.. Not totally alone.. I wish i can be on her sides.. Come on.. I really hate myself.. Is there anyway to punish myself?

ish.. Come on syl.. First.. Find real friend.. Hang out.. Adui.. Again.. Is not like go to shop and buy something.. Go to church and join the group there.. Yeah.. Wise choice.. But i really don't like it.. Not that i got tanduk or something like that.. It just i hate my life, mean i don't love myself, mean that i don't appreciate what god have given to me.. Ok.. Back to find real friend.. Just have to wait and try hard to stand out of crowd.. I so desperate.. I have too.. If not, i will never move on, my mind will only think about her.. So long..