desire

Desire play important role in my life. Since i was small i got lots of desire, i want lots of things. Back to the old days, i can't have wat i wan. Sometimes of the time i need to cry to get it. I remember last time i want tamagochi, i save my money to buy it. At the end, i really get wat i wan, but after a while i'm playing it, i became careless and the device drown into water. Well. I lost it.

even now, i got some of the desire since childhood, like own a remote control car, have my bicycle modified. Own a video game. And lots more. I know is hard for me to get it. But i know someday i will have it.

now, i have a wish list. I know it make me feel like i'm materialistic. But is only way i feel fulfill and satisfy. I really wan do those, but i need to be logical, i need to money for living. Well. Guess some of the thing had been fulfill.

i brought a new nike shoe for joking. Tomoro i start going to bukit padang. Hopefully this will stay long. And i also get a new pair of contact lens. Hehe. Well. Next on my list is treatment for my skin. Hehe. Need to wait for next month. I scare it will cost a lot. I know it will.

my life is not getting better. Just improve. I still the same.

confession of pain

Why they make it so simple? Why a perfect couple live so happily? Their action show full of affection. Their eye on each is unbreakable. Girl seem silly, but will obey her boy. Boy so tough, but will romance his girl. He go places he never been before to just see her, and don't admit it. So funny.

well. Eye saw everything. Heart feel a hitch. Unbearable me for being 3th person eye. Wish to be the 1st person stand and feel the joy.

2010 resolution

1. Exercise at least once a month
2. Read 6 books
3. Have my house became comfortable with basic needs.
4. Total saving at year end is 5% of every month.
5. Learn myself 3 new skills or applied knowladge.
6. Have car became comfortable and new.
7. Go to church often.

hello 2010

Happy new year for me. Hope things will turn out great. You know what, i think i spend my new year countdown while bath, don't realise the time, only heard firework outside the house. Hope that will wash away my bad luck. Hello 2010!

why i'm so excited.

year 2009

Is a bad year for me. None of my dream come true. On bright side, i graduate at this year, get a job, get a new life. What my dream? Well, be a rich person, be a naturalist, most important have a lover for my broken heart. Well.
None of it ever happen.

should i welcome 2010? Well, i need to set up new resolution. Could be more like my wish list. Hehe. Hope next year will be a good 1. I'm not looking forward it. So the answer is no. I'm not looking forward it and welcome it.

you know, 2010 is a beautiful year to start. The full moon in th sky wit firework. Well. Is those year ppl think this world is wonderfull. How is like to be at outside wit some1 special.

5th book

This the last book for this year. 5 books so far i read. All about fairy tales, love, friendship, and memories. All are not romantic story, but is full of love. Hehe. All of this book are good companion to me, reading them make me feel not lonely and let the time pass quickly. Hehe. Love to bring book around.

9 dec

While thinking plans through before tackling them is wise, i'm urged to discuss them wit certain well-informed individuals. Only once i have combined their knowledge wit my analysis of the situation at present will i be able to come up wit a concept that's as practical as it is visionary.

Hello dear blog,

is been a while i don't talk to you, i do think of you all the time, i do wan to tell everything, the problem is, is all about sadness. Hehe. The funny thing is, is your name, sadness and loneliness. The only obstacle is there lots of people i been friend recently, i just can't afford to lose them just because i'm sad.

i know the solution is just private you, but i can't do it, the reason i create you is to tell every1 that i'm a useless people, to get help, i know there is people are doing their best, got healer but she got silent. I really wish i can tell everything in here.

x'mas is soon, i have no mood for it, but inside me, giving is better that just keep for myself. even i don't enjoy this season, i planning to give, at least people smile wan make me happy. So, anything? who knows i will be the next santa.

this year end which mean is almost 1 year. I know some1 enjoy their life. Twilight, i wish i'm bella, i feel i'm really her, is true i'm sitting there for months, is true i had bad dream, is true i saw her illusion, is true i'm happy wit some1 else, is true i still want her, but is not true we way we break up, is not true she think of me, and is really not true the ending that everything been told is just a lie. I wish the story is exactly like that, everything is exactly true.

every morning

Every morning is the start of a new day, the cold temperature that make us wan to sleep again. Everyday, we wake up, kids start their day by eating breakfast serve by their mum, student rushing to get them self ready to class. But now, i'm a working adult. My routine morning is the same for the rest of my life, unless i get married, then some part will change.

i wake up usually, think how my life would be, yes, i think about what world should be done, wat think should summited, who to connect, and then, this word, miss.

anyway, there always a cure for everything, everyday i drive to work, i always look at the mountain, high up there cover wit mist, is always cheer me up. I live at a beautiful places, 1 day, i will go there. That 1 day, is always a dream for both of us.

hehe, miss the lbn beaches.

16 nov

My problem isn't the obstacles i'm facing. I understand both where they're come from, and wat to do about them. The proble is certain individuals who i would have expected to lend me a hand haven't done so. While ordinarily, i have said nothing, ask them why. Their response will suprise me.

green cloth girl

I'm thinking of the green cloth girl. Here the story, i was sitting around roxy, friend apple shopping, she brought yellow spegeti.. Look nice on her. Anyway, i spend almost half day inside there, not shop for me, but for her, don't complain because i really don't want to shop another shirt or flipflop. Not on my list now, even i desire for it.

this green girl come in to buy roxy beg, just a normal average looking girl. Well that all i can say. Just inside my mind. Can't get it out. Tall, not so skinny, like to play wit her hair, good friend. I suggest i'm bored inside roxy till i watch every1 inside there.

In this world, there many types of people, from the people we know, to people that we see from our eye on street, to people that we hear from our ear on news, to people that we feel from our imagination of any type of people. All type of people exist for something, surviving to live, contribute to the surrounding or more selfish, just profit for them self.

for me, i like to watch people, in my whole life, i watch lots of people. I observe how there move, how there wear their cloth, how pretty are there, how happy, how worrying, i watch everything, expect 2 thing that is impossible to tell, their mind and their heart. Their mind could tell them stop watch me, your stackler. Their heart, which how feel at that time to the places or people. From begger that asking money for living, to bully that bully poorless puppy, to spender that spend money worryless, to clubber that flirt lady on the floor, to photographer that capture glimpse of people life, to blogger that write story of a live. All these people always caught my eye.

even watching people is my obsession, i rarely look at myself, even in the mirror, my picture about myself is a sad dude that barely have a smile, that just had a broken heart. The only time i watch myself is when i set my hair, put med on my pimple. Even wit that, i never look to my own eye, my own smile. I waiting the moment that i can look myself, when i'm happy, when i get my love of my live. Till now. My own thought as i wondering around 1borneo wit a fruit call apple.

fragile life

Life is very fragile, going around, we will always see some1 is worst than us or better. We should not compare against each other but compliment each other how perfect we live in this world. A smile will brighten our soul, a greeting will cherr our heart.

now, i really need those, i was watching 2012, why a great movie must have a love involve, wit transformer on megan, 2012 wit broken family but finally unite. I'm not against those, but my heart just unbearable to fill those, i miss some1. Is almost 1 year. And i still haven't improve.

wish list

add a wish list in my blog... set my target... will change when reach this year end...

some1 special day

Today, is some1 special day. Wish her happy special day. Hope your dream and wishes come true, dear.