just about today...lots of thing happen...i enter a state that i need to do something for my future... Cayra call me today and ask about me but the phone hang up suddenly...i try call her back but she dont answer the phone (i dont care she dont answer). i wish her brother happy birthday.... then i belanja deedat makan.... i really feel like today i'm quite cheerfull...may be because she call, hear her voice is so nice...
but most suprising is when i talk to my friend, lala. she is a good friend to me... first time in my writing this blog...i tell her about it...the first time i tell some1 that i got an emotional blog telling how sad and lonely my life are.. may be i comfartable talking to her, because she is so nice, understanding abit , and a warm personality.. well... sometimes letting people know how sad we are show u know that person can be count when u needed some1.... i never had intention to show this blog to any1... this blog i just use it speak my feeling out since i have nobody to talk to... well.... admit i got a problem and tell it to people may be is the another step for healing. blur....
baby....i really wish i have 1, u know last time that i really want a dog...actually,, i really want a baby... 1 thing i really miss is care about other... i really do care... but i got an obsestion that i really like to care...like to be busybody... sometimes is annoying... that why i like babies... a girl for sure... a baby girl u need to give all the attendtion to that baby... i know i will be a father, a father that need to support the family.. still i can give my above all care to the baby... may be is my dream to have a baby.. my heart always happy, heavy and desire to have it...
well....internal flame...i just remember this song...i love this song... this song somehow always touch my heart.. since long time ago... may be the song is just tell me how dream feel like to me... an internal flame, my dream always keep me going... i really dont want lose this feeling... everytime i close my eye..i start dreaming...dreaming something wonderfull... this song also ever sang by Cayra.. i really like her voice..sadly i can only heard atomic kitten voice now.. but never mind.... i just close my eye and dream that she beside me inside the car, sang this song.... goodbye memories
hey..i need stop dreaming....i really need stop doing that..but i glad..while write this post, i dreamed something wonderfull, accompany that internal flame
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