4 days i didnt post at this blog. why? because i will say the same thing everytime. my mind keep thinking the same thing. i know i have to move on, stop living the past, wake up!!!! still my mind keep fixed to same thing....come on lar syl!!! stop it!!! i always angry to myself, i being too stuburn even didnt take advice from myself... now i really piss off....i dont know how to change myself, even self motivation are not working... wat again heard people advice, i know since begining people already advice me...but still..i hate myself because i still unchange..wat my point of view in this life??? i hate my life...ungratefull..full of shit...and just try to be normal, survive. i really cant bear this...everytime i try to move on, my mind keep thinking about it...
but 1 thing i really sure...i miss her so much...time passes but the feeling are keep the same...my jealousy of other people life, not they are better, but they certainly are happy.. me?? inside me like so damn broken...feeling happy sometimes..but most of time feeling sad.. memories keep repeating.. mind keep dreaming... i dont know wat keep me alive.. may be because i still dreaming..tat keep me alive..dream tat never come true...only despair arrive..
even i'm sad..but i still keep in touch most important thing going to happen... farewell... the day that i will lose everything that happen in last 4 years...i hope it end in good way, good memories, and friendship forever...i dont want lose it again, whereby after farewell, i became totally lonely...!!!
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