Grad!!

27 October is the date that i'm convo... part of me are happy and sad... hehehe..thanks for everything to my parent and all my friend.. yeah.. the sad part is not according to the planning.. well.. get the best out of it

time slow down

So this is what you do when it all slows down and the minutes that tick by del a little longer that before. You take your time. You breathe slowly. You open your eyes a little wider and look at everything. Take it all in. Rehash stories of old, remember people, times and occasions gone by. Allow everything you see to remind you of something. Talk about those things. Stop and take your time to notice things and make those things you notice matter. Find out the answers you didn't know to yesterday puzzle. SLOW DOWN. stop trying to do everything now, now, now. Hold up the people behind you for all you care, feel them kickling at your heels but maintain your pace. Don't let anybody dictate your speed.

21 octo

Being a sociable creature, i'm constantly discussing various new ideas and options. But having just struggled wit serious decisions, i did my best focus mine conversations on more trivial matters. At least until those plans are finally settled. Once they are, you can return to your usual topic without fear i will be distracted.

20 octo

As i'm well aware, decision-making can be an agonising experience for me. So once i'm finally got things organised, i stick wit plans. That's understandable. Still, during this unsettled but highly creative cycle, i'm better off regarding all arrangement as loose. This way, i can change them, and change them again, if necessary.

Oh. Today i'm so embarrass because i forget my ex school mate, oh damn. I was chill out at upperstar, they want to close to restaurant already. So this guy coming up to say sorry, in my mind ok, we meet to go, he about to halau us away. Then he say, do you remember me? Gosh. I have no idea.

he is desmond, my classmate that use to sit beside me. How can i forget. Huh. I feel so guilty. Oh well, i just i need to find out his contact soon.

tanjung aru

Right now i'm at tanjung aru. 1st time coming here. Hehe. Miss my old layangan beach and the water.

Hello every1. My life getting more meaningfull each day. I have more path to go. More thing to do. But i still looking my pass. Nothing are the exactly like last time. I still dream of same thing.

last friday is my b'day, nope, i don't celebrate it. Just spend on big apple donut to my office staff. That all. Well. Some1 forget my b'day. Wat can i say, angry or sad. Just glad my special day passes.

Much as i dislike clashes wit other, i have to admit that there are 1 or 2 impossible individuals who are oblivious to anything but a direct confrontation. However, they've adopted a new and underhand tactic. This means that when dealing wit them, i will need to be twice as canny as before.

uneasy

Tonight. I was wondering where am i heading. I didn't feel lost, where i'm stand, my bearing. I always knew. But knowing everything doesn't make everything enjoyable. There should be an anticipation of knowing the unknown.

i sometimes asking do i have my own personality, my own look, my own principal. The moment my life change, i didn't care so much about it. I just live the life as it is, as it flow, i just follow it. But recent event, make me think twice. Sometimes, i just not me. I don't know how to explain it. I need to learn as fast as possible about how to survive, how to connect. Well. I guess i'm failing.

i'm really week. Throughout my life, i got people that help get up. But as time move on, nothing stay. Perhaps, this is i'm looking for. Help. I know there were some1 that willing to help me if i'm ask. But that just temporary.

i really hate if i got the feeling that is not alright. Things will go wrong soon enough if i'm don't take action. Come on syl, have courage.

this blog is my only way it express my feeling. There nobody that i can talk to. Only to myself. Ok. Good night guys

Right now, i feel quite uneasy. What happen to me?

my mind always think about elizabeth. In a story k. Hehe. She is too busy to find friend. I really want to finish the story about her but i just having trouble wondering what bothering me..

i need a hug. A piece of mind.

silent noise

When you drop a glass or a plate to the ground, it makes a loud crashing sound. When a window shatters, a table leg breaks, or when a picture falls off the wall it makes a noise. But as for our heart, when that breaks, it's completely silent. We would think as it's so important it would make the loudest noise in the whole world,or even have some sort of ceremonious sound like the gong or the church bell. But it's silent and u almost wish there was a noise to distract u from the pain.

if there is a noise, it's internal. It screams and no one can hear it but yourself. It scream so loud your ears ring and your head aches. It thrashes around in your chest; it roars. But thats the thing about love - no one is untouchable. It's as wild as that, as raw as an open flesh wound exposed to salty sea water, but when it actually breaks, it's silent. You're just screaming on the inside and no one can hear it.

2 october

Giving up on long cherished plans may seem a defeat, sadly to say. But i'm actually clearing the way for new, and more timely, endeavours. While these have been on my mind, i'm dismissed them as unrealistic, impossible dream that i can't achieve. Now a series of developments as sudden as they are unexpected will turn there into a very real possibility, like discover new friend and places

This blog is getting outdated. I really want to share my thoughts and my feeling, but recently is add friend in facebook. I decide i better don't let them know my emotional side of me, but right now, i really want to talk about it.

this pass few months had teach me alot. Still my emotional still the same. Firstly. Cayra called me last time, and tell she don't want more connection between us. At that point, i feel kinda relief, relief that she actually tell she got bf. Well. Is about time for me to get 1 too. But same time, i feel there is something pierce my heart, i still love her. Is hard to avoid that but i have to hang up phone quickly. Looking at myself feeling the pain, i can't think of anything else. Well. The only thing is find another love. Hehe.

there another thing bothering is i'm glad people break up. I'm always feel that i'm not alone in this sadness. And i actually tell them life really sucks right. Hehe. And. I also hate those people that find new love. Jealous is the right word. Hehe.

There 1 blog that i feel so touching. She wrote about how sorry is she, how she can change back the way is it. I really wish those word are for me, not for her special 1. I really wish i get those word, in my ending, i feel the worst, worst ending for a long beautifull story. I want tell who is this person/blog i mean. But i just can't. Perhaps she will leave a comment. :p

what inside my mind again, herm. The book i read. But pretty sure i will give it a review. Not now. But 1 thing for sure, each time i read about love, my heart always cry. I feel i need it the most. Each time see movie, heard music, and read anything about love, i just wish i can have it. I understand each word of it. I can feel the joy, happiness, the suffering, sad. I don't know how to not feel emotion. Is just hard.

there 1 thing also inside me that i had walk into a dark path. I really wish i can say no. But i had no choice. But now, i try looking on other way, i tried to contact any1 that in kk, have courage to just ask them out. Hehe.

that all i wanted to say. Glad it out of me. Although is not much of detail. Can't review too much cos is very personal. Bye