No matter how forward looking, it always fall down
Friday, August 5, 2011
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
i don't want to wait longer. Tomoro is the day. I think. Give me strength.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Sunday, January 30, 2011
all those stuff, i never wanted to throw away, it remind me how we spend our time inside the car. But yesterday, i started to throw it. Is been like 2 or 3 years, i lose count, yet, the scar haven't heal. Keep remind me that every step i take, i need to carefull, i don't wan add another line of scar.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
in my life, there are none, while i looking for some1, the some1 are just repeating the one cause me the pain. For example, sms heavely with i'm beside or call some1 while i'm around, i still remember last time, is painful last time and yet is painfull to remember back.
life is always unfair,i lower my expectation for this world, still there aren't perfect. What you wan me to do? Just let go everything, and expect nothing, then my life would be meaningless.
life is bad. Now, at this point, i just hope, really hope, some1 will touch me, and say is not the end, i'm still around. That word, that touch, will be forever to be achieve.
what can i say dear? You had ruin my past, hurt me so bad, and you had a good life. I wish for your best, but mine, i didn't. Someday i will find some1 like you, and hopefully, same mistake wont repeat. By now, pain still pain, feel the same.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
i'm happy cos i was able watch wit cindy. To be able watch fairy tales with some1. Is one of my dream for a long time, but it is almost what my dream, in my dream is wit special some1.
hope disney will make more movie like this is coming year.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
for you informantino, you never forget the moment you became love some1, the first lips, suddenly you not inside a dream anymore, you play it, but you may not notice the moment you love some1, it changes you.
is true. Change me, change you. Overtime also change, till all gone. And change me again for the worst. It all happen in a blink of a eye. We don't realise it.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
sometimes the past is something that we can't let go of, and sometimes the past we will do anything to forget. And sometimes we learn something new about the past that change everything we know about the present.
i got lot of past that inside me, i don't know to let it go or forget it. It keep burden me day after day. But there is past the i learned, there no such thing as fairy tales or love. But i still believe it. Hehe.
i try to not look back. But it always come bite me. I read your mind, sort of, i do able feel something. It always you. You happy, i'm happy. You sad, i'm sad. Why the connection still there. I could be dreaming. I try move forward. I know there a light in the end, but i don't wish the connection cut off.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
so. What it all that mean. Peace. Everyday i struggle to find happiness, but peace, the only thing i would like to find is peace of my mind, hehe, which is the moment i found some1. Ok. I know is weird. But i just hope i can identify what it peace for me, then try to embrace it. So what yours?
Sunday, October 31, 2010
when we handed an outcome that horrible to face, that when we will get second opinion. And sometimes, the answer we get just confirm the our worse fear, but sometimes, it can shed new life on the problem, make you see it in whole new way. After all the opinion had been heard, and every point of view already being consider, you finally find what you after, the truth. But the truth is where ends, that just the begining, a whole new set of question.
i constantly think of my problem. There alot to think of. It make me really scare. But lucky, sometimes, if i'm comfortable enough, i will seek friend help, and ask their opinion, sometimes, my thinking were too narrow, hehe. Still, till now, i still don't get the truth. I still thinking the same problem till now.
even so, after settle one problem, a whole new one will arise.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
what do you do when the infection hits you, when it take over. Do you do what you suppose to do and taking your medicine, or you learn to live wit that thing and hope some day it goes away,or do you give up entirely and let it kill you.
well. We always go problem. Small problem, then another small problem, then it lead to bigger problem. For me right now, failure after failure, bigger problem right now is i'm getting more hopeless and lonely. But still not an big problem, not yet. Well. Like i said, there 3 choice, fix the problem, learn to live wit it, or just let it eat me. I don't know what i choose, in this stage. I still choose the number 1. There still a hope, i just wish for it.
i'm not complainting my life suck. I try. I try to call up and meet up. Is just weird. Suddenly call up. Say wan to meet. I feel bad because there are things i wan in life, i wan it so much, which is love.
thinking about joining the military, or be a volunteer. At least can love a country or a humanitary.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
i scare i care so much, i scare i'm want to know to much, i scare to be there all the time and want to know everything happen. Is my mistake last time. I don't wan to make same mistake. But i can't. I will make the mistake.
why is so hard. I know we got choose, i know there more in life. Why it is so important. I don't understand myself. I been lonely too long.
because of me, i also say to myself, but be too rush, slow a bit, i try, and it effect me too much. Perhaps the other side aren't looking on same item, is me that look for it.