I never feel good or something like that, i mean currently now. I'm indeed a loser, there no colour in my life, is only stagnant lifeless life. I wake up every morning, start everyday for myself. There nothing to hope for. There nothing to care for. Only thing make me happy is buy more worthless thing or wish for better thing. I try to improve. I try my best to just enjoy life. But there no meaning if enjoy it alone. Watch movie alone. Watch drama alone. I hate it that word, alone. Sometimes, how i wish i can pay some1 just be my friend. There's nothing.

i'm not complainting my life suck. I try. I try to call up and meet up. Is just weird. Suddenly call up. Say wan to meet. I feel bad because there are things i wan in life, i wan it so much, which is love.

thinking about joining the military, or be a volunteer. At least can love a country or a humanitary.