Tuesday, May 26, 2009

mental check for me

is been a while i never write something serious in my blog.. all the time i write wat i feel.. how i should do this, do that..wat happen.. so.. my view of my life?? hard to say.. at this moment, the only thing i think is my life sucks... hahaha come on syl... ur life is more than that.. i view my life seem to be empty.. nothing special happen in my life.. seldom happy moment.. everynight i feel like want to talk... just feel want to feel secure that my life is actually fine... well... i dont have that... that make me feel that the life is useless.. hey... 1 thing i learn is be apprieciate my life much better.. things around the world always change.. nothing stay there forever.. i lost someting important to me, could be because of me, my life last time is like just let it be.. i dont really care wat happen around me, only care about 1 person.. well.. that could be my mistake.. i only see in 1 person..

now.. all are gone.. i have to start a new one.. i have to see different way.. i have to move forward.. but at same time, i always looking at my back... i know is not healty, but that only give me strenght.. i not the person that have job, have means of going anyway, have friend that will help me, handsome, have a special some1.. basicly... i have nothing to hold on to move forward... i only have my studies, few friends, and my family well... that the only thing i have... i believe there is more... but none can help me... i always believe that special some1 will help, will share the future together, share the same dream.. things arent working well.. wat can i do now?? well just move forward... open my mind.. see thing lots of point of view..

the other thing i would like to say, i dont blame other for my journey, is a tough road i can say.. i accept the road but just hate it.. every step i take, i feel like damn suffer.. i know i sometimes didnt respect other.. i do whatever i want.. i feel sorry for that.. i know i'm a boring person.. weak person.. althought inside me is full of love, kindness, caring... wat can i say.. world is cruel.. and i still sick!!!!!

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